IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Art is considered an essential part of all cultures through out the world. However, thses days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn focus to science, technology and business. At what extend you agree and disagree

#art #part #cultures #world #thses #people #focus #science #technology #business
It is true that
science
 and
technology
, nowadays, have
benefitted
Suggestion
benefited
 the whole world in all aspects.
Although
science
 and
technology
 have a greater impact on our lives, the role of artists is unforgettable, and they contribute
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 in our
life
. There are many things that artists can tell us about
life
 that
science
 and
technology
 failed to. To
commenced
Suggestion
commence
 with, communication between people in every nation which is the language that they speak with each other. In fact, is a branch of art,
this
 gives
people sense
Suggestion
a person's sense
person's sense
the person's sense
peoples' sense
 of humanity, and
this
 perhaps the only difference between human beings and animal.
Furthermore
, creative people can boost us emotionally and change our feelings.
For example
, lots of Beethovens fan
listen
Suggestion
listens
 to his music pieces because they feel relieved and motivated, so music control our emotions and translates our feelings Another field in which we learn from art is related to culture and history. Many states show their history through a piece of painting or the way that people dance and wear, for the majority of people
this
 is the sort of entertainment too, there are people who travel around the globe to visit historical places and art galleries.
By contrast
,
this
 is not the case when
science
 and
technology
 are considered as they all about
practical
Suggestion
practice
 and
physical aspect
Suggestion
physical aspects
the physical aspect
 and do not
contribute our lives
Suggestion
contribute to our lives
 emotionally and socially. To conclude, there is no denying the fact that
science
 and
technology
 have great value in our
life
.
However
, artists can teach people about many aspects of their
life
 that the former cannot.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: