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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The supplied line graph describes the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
students
Use synonyms
graduated
Correct pronoun usage
who graduated
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 from Canadian universities commencing from 1992 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the female
gradutes
Correct your spelling
graduates
 supersede the number of male graduates.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, female and male
students
Use synonyms
 have an upward trend in the given time frame. As provided in the graph, over the period of 1992 to 2000, the number of male and female
students
Use synonyms
 experienced a minor fluctuation.
In
Change preposition
From
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Change the article
the year
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year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1992 to 1995, a slight increase in
number
Correct article usage
the number
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occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 of approximately over 10000 for
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 and over 5000
for
Change preposition
apply
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male
students
Use synonyms
. In figures, females originally almost 100000 became 110000 and male graduates roses from 70000 to 75000. Before the year 1996, the digits declined on a small scale and had some fluctuations
on
Change preposition
in
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 the
next
Linking Words
 four years. In 2001, the statistics started to rose again by 50000 for females and 25000 for males in reference to the figure in the year 1992.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • general trend
  • fluctuations
  • peaks
  • dips
  • significant differences
  • increase/decrease
  • comparison
  • data
  • period
  • economic conditions
  • policy changes
  • cultural shifts
  • implications
  • workforce
  • economy
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