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Band 4.5

Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #change #jobs #years
Changing jobs
happens
Suggestion
happen
 quite often to young employees recently which they tend to
looking
Suggestion
look
be looking
 for a better
job
 and an environment to develop their
career
. In my opinion, there are many advantages of shifting at some points in
career
Suggestion
a career
 where youths can get a good offer with
higher paid salary
Suggestion
a higher paid salary
 as well as
promissing
showing possibility of achievement or excellence
promising
processing
position
 in
new
Suggestion
the new company
a new company
company
. For the youths who have just graduated and starting their
career
, lacking experience in professional paths could cause no fully understand
requirement
Suggestion
the requirement
 or environment in the
company
 they applied to.
Therefore
, after starting the
job
 for
short period
Suggestion
a short period
, they realise that they are not able to adapt to
job
requirement
Accept comma addition
requirement, for
for example
 a long twelve
hours
Suggestion
hour
 shift in
factory
Suggestion
a factory
factories
the factory
 that may not be suitable to an engineer who prefers a
job
 in
office
Suggestion
an office
 as a while collar. Low paid
also
 is
a
Suggestion
an
 issue when they tried to propose the lowest salary as possible in order to be recruited easily.
Benefits
Suggestion
The benefits
 of changing
job
 frequently to the youths that it can bring a better offer which propose a higher income and
promissing
showing possibility of achievement or excellence
promising
position
 in
corparate ladder
Suggestion
the corporate ladder
corporate ladder
. These are one of the most
criterias
a basis for comparison; a reference point against which other things can be evaluated
criteria
 that affect youths'
decison
the act of making up your mind about something
decision
 to leave the
company
 to
pursuit
Suggestion
pursue
 other opportunities outside. Except some cases, young candidates could not refuse a proposal at
new
Suggestion
the new company
a new company
company
 with a double salary or a management level. Those are because most of the youths need
high
Suggestion
higher
 income for their living expense or invest in
graduated
Suggestion
graduate
 education; a manager level
also
 helps them define a solid and
acknowlegded
recognized or made known or admitted
acknowledged
position
 whenever they want to move to
new
Suggestion
the new company
a new company
company
. In conclusion, young employees change their
job
 frequently in order to develop their
career
. These bring lots of benefits by getting a better
position
 and income in new
company
Submitted by phuoc.phanpla on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic workplace
  • job-hopping
  • job opportunities
  • technological advancements
  • job market
  • job satisfaction
  • work-life balance
  • higher salaries
  • career progression
  • diverse skill set
  • work cultures
  • professional asset
  • stability
  • commitment
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