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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
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As the issue of physical
health
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 remains a primary focus of human's research, we find that
work
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 and working conditions have strong ties to the dilemma of
health
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.
However
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, in order to fully address the influences of
work
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 on human
health
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, we should
firstly
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 attempt to understand the dimensions of how and why
work
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 affects
health
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. In relation to
this
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, many technological advancements and evolutions have been taking place since 1970's and influenced the way people
work
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 and live. Specifically, the evolution in the technology sector
have reduced
Suggestion
has reduced
 the needed amount of the body's physical effort to accomplish a certain task.
Accordingly
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,
such
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 facilitation and flexibility provided by technology have allowed people to spend more time on the mental effort part that can fully utilize the technological facilities in order to maximize productivity and profit.
On the other hand
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, economic pressure as being the main steering force behind physical and mental
work
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 in the current
technology
Suggestion
technological
 era, has not changed since the industrial revolution. People still tend to
work
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 more in order to be able to guarantee a certain lifestyle. Overall, these economic and technological pressures have limited people's tendency towards practicing either during the working day or in their free time.
As a result
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,
this
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 has caused them
health
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 problems.
Consequently
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, as we understand the dimensionality of the
health
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 and
work
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 dilemma, it can be addressed by
firstly
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 advising people to realize the importance of their
health
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. As well, it is important to advise them to set achievable fitness targets that would gain equal attention and not conflict with their
work
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 responsibilities. I find that it has been very important to me and to many people in my social sphere, to include rewards and penalty procedures in the fitness plan during
work
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. The rewards and penalty system helps in keeping a focused mind on achieving the target and greatly influences the psychological
health
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 as well.
Lastly
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, the most important factor to motivate people to practice more during
work
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, is to let them realize how it
remediates
act of correcting an error or a fault or an evil
remedies
work
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 stress and tension.
Submitted by m_hawas on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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