IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Museum & historical sites are visited mainly bt foreign tourists rather than by locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit these places more often?

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It is claimed that
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of visitors to
archeological
related to or dealing with or devoted to archaeology
archaeological
 sites &
history
Use synonyms
 exhibitions belongs from abroad, & not from the same country.
This
Linking Words
 essay shall discuss the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon &
also
Linking Words
 how the natives can be made to visit these places on a frequent basis.
First
Linking Words
 of all, people explore their own
history
Use synonyms
 and related places much less than people from other nations.
This
Linking Words
 is occurring because the native people feel that their own
history
Use synonyms
 is less interesting than that of others. They tend to like going abroad, or more specifically long vacations, to visit
such
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 places from other cultures.
As a result
Linking Words
, citizens tend to
know much
Accept comma addition
know, much
 less about their own
history
Use synonyms
 as compared to
inhabitants
Suggestion
the inhabitants
 of a foreign land. A recent survey
by
Suggestion
of
 the Tourism department of India suggests that 75% of tourists
at
Suggestion
of
 some of the most famous heritage sites are non-
native but
Accept comma addition
native, but
 they know much more about the past place as compared to the locals To counter
this
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 problem,
government
Suggestion
the government
 should only take the basic maintenance fee
from
Suggestion
for
 the local residents and spread authentic information about their rich historical cultures. As
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of museum and historical sites are under the government
supervisor
Suggestion
supervision
, natives must be charged the minimum entrance fees so that they don't hesitate to have a look to their ancestral deeds. A great example of
this
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 is depicted at Taj Mahal in Agra, where native citizens are allowed to visit the palace free of cost.
Thus
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, people don't mind going there on weekends To sum up, normal person wants to acknowledge his/her own
history
Use synonyms
 much less than a foreigner. To change
this
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 trend, the government can take steps so as to maximize local tourism.
This
Linking Words
 will in turn make people more aware of their culture & its origin.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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