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Band 5.5

The tendency of human beings copying each other is shown in popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?

#tendency #beings #popularity #fashion #clothes #consumer #goods
Imitating one another is an innate human tendency and
this
 has played a vital role in human evolution. I strongly believe that the increasing tendency
of copying
Change preposition
to copy
show examples
 other humans is beneficial since it increases the reach of the original work to hitherto unreachable places and reduces the price for those who can’t afford the original work. Though developing an original workforce is time-consuming and copying it violates certain rights of the creator,
this
 helps the society as a whole. Copying enables
people
 to create cheaper versions of the workforce and
this
 increases its accessibility for everyone.
For instance
,
Mona
Correct article usage
the Mona
show examples
 Lisa, which was painted by Leonardo da Vinci in the 16th century, has been copied by thousands of artists and
this
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 enabled the common citizens to purchase an imitation of the masterpiece.
Moreover
, copying the formulations of medicines helps create cheaper versions of patented costly ones. Though
this
 is a violation of patents and may lead to lawsuits
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 international courts,
this
 has saved
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
 of millions of poor
people
 who can’t afford
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
costly medicines.
For example
, the World Health Organisation has recently claimed in its report that copied versions of patented drugs for cancer have saved
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
 of more than a million
people
 in India who could not afford the costly global ones. In conclusion, the increasing trend of copying has made the earth a better place
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
show examples
. Though it has violated the rights of a few rich global companies, it has brought happiness to the lives of millions of poor
people
.
This
 tendency,
however
, needs to be monitored under strict regulation since excessive copying will prevent talented individuals from creating innovative products and
this
 may slow down the march of human civilization.
Submitted by mayuri.goswami9797 on

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task response
Ensure that your main points are well-developed and supported with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas in each paragraph to enhance clarity and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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