IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case
Self
employment
are becoming
Suggestion
is becoming
 increasingly popular in all over the world. At present, a rising number of people
are prefer
Suggestion
are preferring
prefer
are preferred
 to own a
business
instead
 of going for an outside
work
 in any company.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons why
this
 change has happened and examine the drawbacks associated with it.
Firstly
, there are many
casues
an occurrence of something
cases
causes
courses
 that impose the people to go for a
self
employment
 than being at 9 to 5
work
 at
company
Suggestion
the company
a company
. One of the glaring reasons is that people want to be wealthy and to have sufficient money to compete with
rising cost
Suggestion
the rising cost
 of living.
This
 would not be possible by going for a
work
,
thus
 push the people to do the
self
employement
the state of being employed or having a job
employment
 as it may give the huge amount of money as a return. Another reason would be
,
Accept space
,
 nowadays people are more likely to take a challenge to do and achieve something in their
life
.
This
 attitude change would lead the people to start and run their own
business
 as it would give them a sense of achievement in their
life
.
However
, for a good reason,
this
 is a worrying development as it would bring drawbacks to people’s
life
. One of the greatest demerits is that lack of financial security, which means that as more people jump into
this
 field without a proper guidance and knowledge, the risk of becoming the bankruptcy is high.
As a result
, the person who
run
Suggestion
runs
 the
business
, does not know the way to deal and overcome the situation,
thus putting them to
Suggestion
thus putting them
 face the financial
catastrophere
an event resulting in great loss and misfortune
catastrophe
catastrophes
 for
rest
Suggestion
the rest
 of the
life
.
Subsequently
, those would depend on the government’s support and to become non productive
worksfoce
the force of workers available
workforce
workspace
, which turn into
severly
(used with count nouns) of an indefinite number more than 2 or 3 but not many
several
severely
 affect the economic development of the country. All in all, the risk of becoming the poor is
high
Suggestion
higher
 in
self
employment
 than that of in a permanent job in organizations. In conclusion, while it is certainly true that current standard of living and attitudinal changes has been
giving
Suggestion
given
 a driving force to the people to be
selfemployed
Suggestion
self employed
, it is inevitable that the risk is more in
self
employment
 than
work
 for a company by considering all the cons.
Therefore
, people should aware and prepare for the unexpected loss comes from their own
business
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
What to do next:
Look at other essays: