IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts display the proportion of consuming
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial, agricultural, and domestic purposes in six different
countries
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the charts that
water
Use synonyms
 is mostly used for agricultural purposes in African and Asian
countries
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 North American and European
countries
Use synonyms
 used more
water
Use synonyms
 for their industrial needs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in Africa, South
America
Use synonyms
, Central, and Southeast Asia more than 70% of
water
Use synonyms
 utilizes
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the agricultural sector,
whereas
Linking Words
 in North
America
Use synonyms
 and
Europe
Add a comma
,Europe
show examples
this
Linking Words
 sector is 39% and 32% respectively.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, these areas used more
water
Use synonyms
 for industrial purposes, 48% and 53% respectively,
while
Linking Words
 in other
countries
Use synonyms
 industrial consumption of
water
Use synonyms
 requires about 10%
average
Change preposition
on average
show examples
. The major portion of
water
Use synonyms
 consumption for domestic needs could be observed in South
America
Use synonyms
(19%) and North
America
Use synonyms
 (13%),
while
Linking Words
 European, African,
Asian
Correct word choice
and Asian
show examples
 regions showed the minimum proportion of using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household
water
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, countries, america with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: