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Band 5.5

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures
It is important to consider why a lot of defenders commit more crimes once they have served their
first
 sentence. In
this
 essay, I will explore some of the problems associated with the increasing count of offenders who again get involved in crimes and propose some solutions related to it.
Firstly
, defenders who indulge in crimes
,
Accept space
,
once they have been behind the bars, have already gone through the fear of getting punished and served
sentence
Suggestion
a sentence
the sentence
sentences
.
Therefore
, they are no more scared of getting involved in
such
 activities another time. As an example, an offender who has been punished for
crime
such
 as pickpocketing will not be afraid of doing it again, after being out of jail. To solve
this
 problem, regular checks need to be enforced on the criminals who have committed a
crime
 shortly.
As a result
,
crime rate
Suggestion
the crime rate
crime rates
 would be reduced among offenders.
Secondly
, once the defenders are out after serving a sentence, they have a lot of
problem
Suggestion
problems
 in finding employment.
This
 is because they have not gained any knowledge during the time they were behind the bars and
also
 have a criminal record added
in
Suggestion
to
 their profile. The Penal system should work towards rehabilitation and help them to get involved in retraining and learning new skills. As a consequence, they would get some jobs which will help in reduction in
crime
 rate. In conclusion, training in prison and close observation on the offenders need to be enforced as
this
 will effectively deal
in
Suggestion
with
 lowering the number of crimes. If
government
Suggestion
the government
 implements the proposed solutions, the figures would surely come down.
Submitted by kamakshi.sahni2189 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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