Some people say schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, others think this is not responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Gov
ermentd of
a lot of developed and developing countries point out on nec
cesity of
Suggestion
the necessity
necessity
a necessity
increasing awa
rness of
having knowledge of
awareness
people on the matter of health. From my point of vie
w health ha
Accept comma addition
view, health
bits should be developed in children from ear
ly age by
Suggestion
an early age
parents and schools.
First
of all
the ai
Accept comma addition
all, the
m of schools is to educate and develop a responsible citizen and encourage pupils to evolve their personalities.And by that I mean that they should be aware of all pos
ibilities of
a future prospect or potential
possibilities
their decisions in eve
ry
found in the ordinary course of events
everyday
day
life. And to what results their decisions can conduct. The
achers sh
Suggestion
Teachers
ould present side effects of a lif
e style th
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
at involve abuse of alc
hool, d
a liquor or brew containing alcohol as the active agent
alcohol
rugs and unh
ealty fo
not in or exhibiting good health in body or mind
unhealthy
od.
Als
o she sh
Accept comma addition
Also, she
ould present effect of a healthy lifestyle that inv
olve di
Suggestion
involves
et and every
day
sport.
However
a the
acher ca
a person whose occupation is teaching
teacher
n not decide
instead
of her children, it is their choice ,
bu
Accept space
,
t they should to be informed.After all
if sc
Accept comma addition
all, if
h
ool fa
Suggestion
a school
the school
i
l to
Suggestion
fails
present all aspects of decisions that we do every
day
, why would we need it at all? Only to learn things that we will never use in our use in our lives.
Second
of all healthy habits should edu
cated in
Suggestion
educate
early stages of life. A chi
ldren ca
Suggestion
child
n be tou
ght to
impart skills or knowledge to
taught
tough
manage situations of inv
olvment in
the act of sharing in the activities of a group
involvement
bad companies, where it is very likely that a child can be exposed to hazardous habits. Fro
m ea
Suggestion
For
rly years a child can tou
ght to
Suggestion
teach
taught
thought
tough
exe
rsise at
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
exercised
exercises
least 20 minutes a
day
.And who else
then
parents or sch
ols ca
an educational institution
schools
school
n do
this
? Let
s sa
Suggestion
Let's
y that a person in
this
adulthood, who smoke every
day
and is used to uhh
ealty fo
annual or biennial grass having erect flower spikes and light brown grains
wheat
hearty
od, decides to change
this
lifestyle.I would say what it will be qui
et a
to a degree (not used with a negative)
quite
cha
llange, e
take exception to
challenge
specially with smoking. I do not say that
this
impossible, I just say that would be very hard. For exe
mple my un
Accept comma addition
example, my
example my
cle quit smoking, but it was a difficult struggle.
This
why hea
thy ha
having or indicating good health in body or mind; free from infirmity or disease
healthy
bits sho
uld be encourage fr
Suggestion
should be encouraged
om early childhood. In con
clusion I th
Accept comma addition
conclusion, I
ink that school should present all side effects and encourage healthy habits from early childhood, alt
ough it
even though, in spite of the fact that
although
is their personal chi
oce to
the person or thing chosen or selected
choice
follow schools advice or not.
Submitted by eduardsoltan3 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutritional education
  • Childhood obesity
  • Diet-related illnesses
  • Physical fitness
  • Sedentary lifestyles
  • Mental health education
  • Destigmatize
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Information overload
  • Holistic approach
  • Well-rounded individuals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: