IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show local government expenditure in 2010 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #government #expenditure #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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These two pie charts are illustrating information about the spending of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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government on nine categories between the
year
Use synonyms
 2010 till 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that education contributed to the largest segment of the chart in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 others considered
Correct pronoun usage
it to
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to be
Change the verb form
being
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 the lowest segment. In comparison with the final
year
Use synonyms
, education remained the most significant sector,
while
Linking Words
 transport, culture and leisure and others were the least popular expenditures.
At
Change the preposition
In
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 the beginning, welfare experienced a number of 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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,
this
Linking Words
 increased to 13
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 2015. Interest and borrowing were 5 % in 2010,
this
Linking Words
 rate doubled
up
Change preposition
apply
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in the final
year
Use synonyms
. Education, which comprised
to
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apply
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the largest segment was 24% in 2010.
This
Linking Words
 slightly dropped down
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 3% in 2015. In the first
year
Use synonyms
, healthcare was the
second
Linking Words
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
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expenses
Fix the agreement mistake
expense
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 with 21%.
This
Linking Words
 gently experienced a drop
with
Change preposition
of
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 1%. In 2010, Defence was 17% of the total payments, which showed a downward trend to 14% in the final
year
Use synonyms
. Transport, Culture and Leisure made up 3% and 2% of the government expenditures and both declined to 1% in 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Pension
Fix the agreement mistake
Pensions
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 and Others remained steady in both years at 19% and 1%.
Submitted by rehanauddin9 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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