IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The government should take responsibility for their actions to the environment. To what extent do you agree?

#government #responsibility #actions #environment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Ecology system
Suggestion
The ecology system
 gets destroyed and environmental-damages are having
detriorating effect
Suggestion
a deteriorating effect
deteriorating effect
 on atmosphere,
its
it is
it's
aurgued
present reasons and arguments
argued
 by
group
Suggestion
a group
groups
 of people that
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 could deal with it if its takes actions for it.
This
Linking Words
 essay
disagree
Suggestion
disagrees
 disagreed with
this
Linking Words
 statement as legal authorities are not only responsible for it,
nation
Suggestion
a nation
the nation
 is equally required to contribute some efforts
for
Suggestion
to
safe
save from ruin, destruction, or harm
save
 it. On the one hand,
its
it is
it's
 a fact that
disastrous environmental condition
Suggestion
the disastrous environmental condition
 required
human
Suggestion
humanitarian
 assistance, because the whole world's population is responsible for it.
Use synonyms
Government
Suggestion
The government
are taking
Suggestion
is taking
 initiative towards improving its
condition but
Accept comma addition
condition, but
 at the same time,
this
Linking Words
 is a common problem of common-people the
national
Suggestion
nation
, and both together can do
activited
(of sewage) treated with aeration and bacteria to aid decomposition
activated
 for the betterment of it. For examples, if
government
Use synonyms
 imposing the
polices
a plan of action adopted by an individual or social group
policies
, rules and regulations to recover it, it implies on people to follow it and maintain law and order for the well-being of
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 and teaches
youngers
used of the younger of two persons of the same name especially used to distinguish a son from his father
younger
 too the importance of healthy
atmoshere
a particular environment or surrounding influence
atmosphere
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people sometimes behave negatively towards it, they throw garbage on
open area
Suggestion
an open area
the open area
open areas
, industries are polluting
its
the thing named or in question
it
 by throwing chemicals, consumption of fuel is another common-issue, deforestation and removing plants from
planet
Suggestion
the planet
, all these activities done by common people,
eventhough
Suggestion
even though
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 is trying to create awareness about it and impose fines and punishment to mistreat the environment but still people are not learning and they are behaving
careless
Suggestion
carelessly
 towards it, which itself shows their attitude towards
mother-land
Suggestion
the Netherlands
Netherlands
. In conclusion,
Its
it is
it's
It's
 not the duty of
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 or particular department,
its
it is
it's
 a big-responsibility for each and every individual and together all can bring the
change but
Accept comma addition
change, but
Use synonyms
government
Suggestion
the government
 has
power
Suggestion
the power
 to control these activities by imposing high fines and imprisonment if people keeps practice it.
Submitted by sadiamajeed1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: