IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Men and women employed in full time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores.Do you agree or disagree.share relevant personal experience

#men #women #time #jobs #responsibilities #household #chores
With the Advent of men and women getting
proffectional
engaged in a profession or engaging in as a profession or means of livelihood
professional
 jobs as permanent members of staff in organisations
,
Accept space
,
in my
opinion I
Accept comma addition
opinion, I
 think
responsibilities
Suggestion
the responsibilities
 of
home
 duties should be distributed among couples.The impact of
this
 arrangement will be seen by looking at the positive effects it has on the health of the couples as well as the family bond it's create among children and their parents.
Firstly
, married people who help themselves with
home
 duties hardly breakdown
as a result
 of stress from household duties.
For
instance it
Accept comma addition
instance, it
 was discovered by a group of researchers in Australia in the year 2016 that 75% of couples who shared duties hardly have health related problem resulting from stress when they hit 80 years old.
In
addition couples
Accept comma addition
addition, couples
 who shared
home
 duties develop a unique bond which they pass to their children when they grow old and get married.
Alot
Suggestion
A lot
 of people believe that
home
 duties should be reserved for women only
,
Accept space
,
however
 from a research carried out by Gomez international
,
Accept space
,
an NGO group based in Brazil, Many married people
have opined
Suggestion
has opined
 that they feel loved and cherished when their partners help them to do house jobs Again to illustrate
this
, I and my wife work in a multinational organization and we share household duties. It has made us bond beautifully well.
Thirdly
, when couples share duties at
home
,
Accept space
,
they teach their children to be selfless
,
Accept space
,
dutiful
,
Accept space
,
hardworking and responsible
,
Accept space
,
hence
 conforming to the portion of the holy book which says that when children are trained properly they can hardly deviate from the path of training. In
conclusion I
Accept comma addition
conclusion, I
 agree that working class couples who are engaged in permanent Jobs should allocate
home
 duties to themselves
consequently
 eliminating health concerns related to stress issues and
also
 building a strong family tie among family members.
Submitted by emma2exclusive on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: