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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #categories #families #poverty #australia #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given table illustrates the percentage of families living in Australia in six different categories in the year 1999. It can be clearly seen from the table the sole parent contributed the highest proportion,
while
 the lowest contribution
made
Add a missing verb
was made
show examples
 up by
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 couple.
According to
 the figure
household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
 type of aged couple was 4%, followed by the single aged person and married people
lived
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
show examples
 without any
children
 were 6 and 7 per cent respectively.
Moreover
, the percentage of citizens
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
show examples
lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 single without any
children
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 approximately 19%, in
comparison
Add a comma
,comparison
show examples
 the
married
Correct quantifier usage
number of married
show examples
 with
children
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 12%.
In addition
, the number of married people
lived
Correct pronoun usage
who lived
show examples
 with their
children
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 significantly higher amongst all the categories in the year 1999 were exactly (933.000), and the total figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all households were about 11%, which contributed (
1,837,000
Change preposition
to 1,837,000
show examples
).
To sum up
, in 1999 the most popular type of household was the sole parent and the less common type of people was
aged
Add an article
an aged
the aged
show examples
 couple.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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