IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph picturises the number of births and deaths of the New Zealand population from 1901 to 2101.Generally ,
death
Add an article
the death
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rate
 increased
than
Correct quantifier usage
more than
show examples
 the
birth
rate
at the end
 of the period. In the
year
 1901,
birth
Add an article
the birth
show examples
rate
 was 20,000. It fluctuated in the following
year
. The
birth
rate
 hit a high of 65,000 in 1961. But the
rate
 declined slightly in the later
year
. Since 2001, the
birth
rate
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated and bottomed out by the end of the
centuary
Correct your spelling
century
.
On the other hand
,
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
rate
 was below 10,000 in the initial
year
. The
rate
 variated between 1921 and 2001. There was a gradual increase in the
death
rate
 in the following years and peaked at 59,000 in 2061. The trend dropped slightly
at the end
 of the period. It is understandable that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
death
rate
 will probably overtake the
birth
rate
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 2041.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words death, rate, birth, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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