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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some TV programmes, video of violent games and other leisure activities are harmful for children. How harmful they are? What can be done to solve these problems?

#tv #programmes #video #games #leisure #activities #children
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The concept of globalization and
proliferation
Suggestion
the proliferation
 of new technology
have opened
Suggestion
has opened
 a plethora of options for children to spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, taking advantages of these
resources young people
Suggestion
resources to young people
 indulge themselves in online activities,
although
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 sometimes there is a significant risk involved like harmful / unreliable
content
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, violent shows or illegal information.
Hence
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, exposure to
such
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 media will have severe repercussions for the overall development of children.
This
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 essay will not only discuss the harmful effect of
this
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 unnecessary
exposure but
Accept comma addition
exposure, but
also
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 suggest some ideas to ameliorate the situation.
To begin
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 with, violent games and negative
content
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 on media will have manifold detrimental effects on children. To illustrate, horror films on
television
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 can scare a child and as a consequence he may develop a phobia in
future
Suggestion
the future
. Considering
this
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 risk of mental instability, children should not be exposed to any harmful
content
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 either via
television
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 or any other kind of leisure activity.
Secondly
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, violent video games play a pivotal role in creating
negative mentality
Suggestion
a negative mentality
the negative mentality
.
In addition
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 to that, children get addicted to
such
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 games and waste their precious / invaluable
time
Use synonyms
 in playing these games which could have been used for some other productive cause. As per the latest survey conducted among students of ABBC school, 97% of boys play the destructive video game PUB-G which is based on the concept of war where players kill each other in the virtual world and as a consequence of it they develop a destructive mindset which makes them testy). Seen in
this
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 light, violent gaming is not only harmful for juveniles’ mental
health but
Accept comma addition
health, but
also
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 wastes their valuable
time
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. In order to alleviate the
situation parental
Accept comma addition
situation, parental
 intervention is imperative. Parents should closely monitor the
content
Use synonyms
 their children are exposed to. One of the ways to execute
this
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 idea is to change the privacy setting of the internet so that in the absence of parents, their offspring will not browse any illegal
content
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, parents can limit the gaming hours of their child and motivate him to focus on studies or some creative activities.
Furthermore
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, the onus is on the government and the
television
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 industry to regulate the
content
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 broadcast during prime
time
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. The authorities must anticipate the consequence of any show before broadcasting it. They should not promote
violent
Suggestion
violence
 or fake information sources which could adversely affect the young citizens of the country. To sum up, aggressive games and vivid
content
Use synonyms
 on
television
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 can have grave consequences for
children’s
Suggestion
child
 psychology;
hence
Linking Words
, it is the responsibility of parents to protect their children from harmful
content
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, the government should monitor
television
Use synonyms
 and internet
content
Use synonyms
. Do you have an essay on
this
Linking Words
 topic? Submit it below in the comments for a free band score estimate.
Submitted by tanaysmart27995 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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