IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows the cinema viewing figures for films by country, in millions.

The table below shows the cinema viewing figures for films by country, in millions.
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The given table illustrates the count (in millions) of
people
Use synonyms
who’s
Unnecessary verb
who
show examples
 visited to watch four different genres of
movies
Use synonyms
 at the cinemas in four different counties.
Firstly
Linking Words
, much more
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to watch
action
Use synonyms
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
movies
Use synonyms
.
Romance
Use synonyms
 type was
the
Change the word
their
show examples
second
Linking Words
 choice by them.
However
Linking Words
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the two types
were become
Change to the active voice
became
have become
show examples
 famous
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 less than 20 million
people
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, movie lovers from India showed
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 interest in
action
Use synonyms
movies
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 showed
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
interest to attend
romance
Use synonyms
movies
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from Ireland get enjoyed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action
Use synonyms
 films. The least number of
people
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as 3.8 million decided to watch
romance
Use synonyms
movies
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of individuals from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand and Japan were
also
Linking Words
 interested in watching
Use synonyms
action genre
Add a hyphen
action-genre
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the count of
Use synonyms
romance
Replace the word
romantic
show examples
 movie lovers was
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 for both these countries.
People
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand interested in horror
movies
Use synonyms
 were almost half
than
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
Correct quantifier usage
number of Japanase
show examples
Japanase
Correct your spelling
Japanese
. In conclusion, much more individuals were interested to watch
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
horror
movies
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
 of the population
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
choosed
Correct your spelling
choose
 other
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
movies
Use synonyms
 as
source
Add an article
a source
show examples
 of enjoyment including
romance
Use synonyms
, comedy and horror.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, movies, action, romance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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