IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the government investments in arts , music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement

#government #investments #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services
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Where to
investing
Suggestion
invest
invests
is investing
tex
charge against a citizen's person or property or activity for the support of government
tax
 payer's money is very critical decision for a ruling party in any nation, as it will be affected to
number
Suggestion
a number
the number
 of people, along with various
bussiness
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
businesses
business
. I
am partially agree
Suggestion
partially agree
have partially agreed
 with the
statment
a message that is stated or declared; a communication (oral or written) setting forth particulars or facts etc
statement
statements
 that public fund should be invested in helping public not in promoting local arts. In a
devloping
relating to societies in which capital needed to industrialize is in short supply
developing
contries
Suggestion
country
countries
, Where a transport system requires attention from
parlament
a legislative assembly in certain countries
parliament
 for public transport,
Government
Suggestion
the Government
 should focus on that. Creating new
theaters
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatres
features
 and auditoriums for people, who love
art
Use synonyms
, are not Wise investment.
For instance
Linking Words
, Shri
lankan
Suggestion
Lankan
 transport system is not good
enogh
as much as necessary
enough
 for their public. With acknowledgement of that, if
Goverment
Suggestion
the Government
Government
 would start building
Use synonyms
art musuem
Suggestion
art museums
art museum
an art museum
 and auditorium, it would not appreciated by their government.
Hence
Linking Words
,
Government
Suggestion
the Government
 has to focus on Daily needs upon Creativity and Entretainment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, A country has to give an
encouragment
the expression of approval and support
encouragement
 to their local
art
Use synonyms
 for preservation of culture and tradition. What would happen if
future generation
Suggestion
future generations
the future generation
a future generation
 of
canada
a nation in northern North America; the French were the first Europeans to settle in mainland Canada
Canada
 does not have an idea of how to
creat
make or cause to be or to become
create
craft
 maple
syurup
a thick sweet sticky liquid
syrup
? It is
also
Linking Words
 important that we invest currencies in
art
Use synonyms
, Which are
also
Linking Words
reflection
Suggestion
a reflection
reflections
the reflection
 of our
specialites
an asset of special worth or utility
specialities
specialists
, which make us proud on
globe
Suggestion
the globe
a globe
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Canadain government
Suggestion
the Canadian government
Canadian government
 has invested
lot
Suggestion
lots
of
Suggestion
in
 money in maple's farm to promote local
art
Use synonyms
 of creating maple syrup. It proves that Arts
also
Linking Words
 have as impact on public life as public services, in which we have to invest. At the end, I would like to shed equal light on both
aspect
Suggestion
aspects
 of investing people's money, for people.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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