some people say that playing computer games is bad for children in every aspect. Others say that playing computer games can have positive effects on the way children develop. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Children
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spend several hours
for
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apply
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playing
video
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games
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which have become increasingly popular recently.
While
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some people believe that playing an electronic game would be harmful, others think that
video
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games
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may help the development of
children
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in many ways. Here, I would account for both sides with my own perception. On the one hand, there are several negative impacts on
children
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if they keep playing the computer game
in
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for
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a long period.
Firstly
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, an immature child is highly addicted to the feeling of going through the next levels of a game or boosting
score
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scores
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to break a record.
This
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type
addiction
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of addiction
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can
also
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cause some problems with their school, a lack of sleep or unfinished homework are consequences of spending
for
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apply
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a few more hours on the
playstation
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PlayStation
.
Moreover
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,
children
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tend to stay
quite
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quiet
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at
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in
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the same place
for playing
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to play
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electronic
games
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instead
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of working out, having a high risk of health hazards
such
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as obesity, weak
visions
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vision
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, and eye strain.
Lastly
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, It can be noticed that the themes of a majority of
the
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apply
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video
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games
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are prominently based on violent
battle
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battles
show examples
. Overindulgence
to
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in
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such
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games
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makes the young minds of
children
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susceptible to emotional indifference.
On the other hand
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, virtual
games
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can be both entertaining and educational.
To begin
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with, these
games
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encourage imagination
as well as
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concentration, which are useful skills in real life. To
specific
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be specific
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, shooting
games
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can help
children
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think quickly and develop their hand-eye coordination.
Furthermore
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,
the
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apply
show examples
video
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games
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foster brain development and problem-solving skills.
For instance
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, online Puzzles and number
games
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are increasingly being used by schools to improve
thinking
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the thinking
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capacity of the pupil. In conclusion, playing computer
games
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has both advantages and disadvantages.
Children
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are easily affected by electronic
games
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,
therefore
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, parents should assist them
to choose
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in choosing
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the right
games
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and ensure that they are not spending their entire day in front of the screen.
Submitted by lindsayguo872 on

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content
Provide a more balanced discussion of the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games. Also, ensure that the conclusion reflects the balanced discussion.
cohesion
Use more varied transition words and phrases to create a better flow between ideas and paragraphs.
vocabulary
Expand your range of vocabulary to include more precise and varied expressions.
grammar
Use a wider range of sentence structures and ensure consistent and accurate use of grammar throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Addiction
  • Academic performance
  • Social interactions
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Obesity
  • Desensitize
  • Cognitive development
  • Problem-solving
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Multiplayer games
  • Social interaction
  • Teamwork
  • Moderation
  • Proper guidance
  • Monitor
  • Time limits
  • Balanced approach
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