IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The demographics
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the different
population
Use synonyms
 ratings between countries like USA, Sweden and Japan. It has been noticed that the growth of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 of age 65 and over has been very evident from
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1940 up to 2040. United State of
America
Change noun form
America's
show examples
population
Use synonyms
65
Change preposition
of 65
show examples
 and over
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1940 is only 9% and slowly rise by 5%
1960
Change preposition
in 1960
show examples
.
During
Change preposition
From
show examples
Correct article usage
the 1980’s
show examples
1980’s
Fix apostrophe usage
1980s
show examples
 to 2020 declined by 2%,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 rise up again by almost 8%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
population
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 65 and over increased from 3-4% every 2 decades. For Japan, the
population
Use synonyms
 got
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 by 2% from 1940 up to 2000 and rose again from 2000 to 2040.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the graph shows that Sweden has
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
show examples
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 from the very beginning,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 survival rate of the elder is high and might affect
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 economic stability,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
as USA and Japan. From the graph, the government will provide a developmental program that can support the economy and workforce.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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