IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #design #wave-energy #machine #location #information #features #comparisons
The
diagram
 shows the
machine
 introducing energy by using the
power
 of waves. it is clear from the
diagram
 that, the mechanism of
this
machine
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
emphasize
Correct subject-verb agreement
emphasizes
show examples
 the way of transforming the
power
 of waves
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
electric energy. And the
second
diagram
 shows, suggest
two
location
Change to a plural noun
locations
show examples
according to
 costs and the amount of energy
producing
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 based
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 each site.
according to
diagram
 number
one
, we can
noticed
Change the verb form
notice
show examples
 that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
machine
 has
two
 chambers,
one
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is locate
Change the verb form
is located
show examples
 at the bottom of
machine
Add an article
the machine
show examples
 that
allow
Change the verb form
allows
show examples
 the wave and water
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
 in, by the
power
 of water pushing up and create a flow of air
then
 they enforce the turbine to move and by
this
movement
Add a comma
,movement
show examples
 the
machine
introduce
Change the verb form
introduces
show examples
 electric
power
 .
however
, the
two
 places
suggestion
Replace the word
suggested
show examples
,
one
 close to the land I will call
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
place
Add the particle
to place
show examples
 A and the other
one
 offshore I will call
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
place
Add the particle
to place
show examples
 B,
place
one
less
Change preposition
with less
show examples
 cost but
introducing
Wrong verb form
introduces
show examples
low
Add an article
the low
a low
show examples
 amount of
power
 and
place
 B,
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 cost and
introducing
Wrong verb form
introduces
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of
power
 .
To sum up
, both places as we noticed,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 advantages and disadvantages, taking choices
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
depends on the capital assets we are planning to spend and the risk
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 choosing between
two
 places .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words diagram, machine, power, two, one, place with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "waves" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: