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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people are involved in sports when they are young but stop once they are adult, why do many adults stop doing physical exercise? what can be done about this problem.

#people #sports #adult #adults #exercise
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Compare to past, nowadays participation
,
Accept space
,
 adult in sports has
decrease
Suggestion
decreased
 dramatically. I believe there are several reasons why
this
Linking Words
 negative trend is becoming more common and some remedies we can adopt. The
first
Linking Words
 reason is the imbalance in
work
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 and like which adults embark their
work
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 and they don't time to take part in physical activities. In terms of time, young people have enough spare time to participate in sports. The
second
Linking Words
 reason is adult people feel exhausted after
work
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 due to
work
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 hours,
workload
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, they want to take a relaxing after long
work
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, people become lethargic with progression of age and a sedentary lifestyle. So in terms of
tecnology
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
technology
 in current times there are a lot of machines perform household chores which
are make
Suggestion
make
are made
 things easier. It
cause
Suggestion
causes
 lack of physical activities in
theire
of them or themselves
their
there
 daily life. Turning to possible solution one key step people should have a well-defined routine which is involved in sports, gym, running and so on. They should keep balanced between
work
Use synonyms
 and life. In many countries, it looks too impossible due to working hours. Another way to tackle
implemention
Suggestion
the implementation
implementation
 of strict policies by government about employers and employees in which working hours and
workload
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. Reducing working hours and
workload
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 make possible to do physical
work
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 in their adulthood. Government play important role on
this
Linking Words
 issue. In conclusion, imbalanced
work
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 and laziness of people cause lack of physical factor in terms of problems. So government
should implemented
Suggestion
should implement
the strict
Suggestion
stricter
 policies about
work
Use synonyms
 hours and
workload
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sevinc.mahmudova.1996 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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