Children today play very violent games. This must be the reason for the increase in violence and crime in most major cities world. What are your opinion on this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is an irrefutable that the electronic games
plays
Suggestion
play
a vital role in
children lifestyle
Suggestion
the child's lifestyle
child's lifestyle
and there is no doubt game helps the development of mind. Some people assert that violent games effect badly on teenagers, because of
this
Linking Words
criminal
activities
Suggestion
activity
increase. In my opinion, games effect person
mind but
Accept comma addition
mind, but
up-to some extent. In
this
Linking Words
essay,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
intent
Suggestion
intend
to support my views before the conclusion can be drawn. There are several reasons why folks interested in violent games. The age of 7 to 8 are under
developing mentality
Suggestion
the developing mentality
in that group of children constantly learn new things whatever going in their surroundings.
Firstly
Linking Words
, now a
days
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day
, teens want something
extra ordinary
beyond what is ordinary or usual; highly unusual or exceptional or remarkable
extraordinary
graphic games, thrills and actions in
virtual gaming system
Suggestion
a virtual gaming system
the virtual gaming system
. It is
fact
Suggestion
a fact
that gaming company
always try
Suggestion
always tries
to make
actions
Suggestion
action
games
such
Linking Words
as grand theft auto, call of duty and so many. For an instance, according to the surveys in 2018, 80 percent visual games are based on fightings.
On the contrary
Linking Words
side, people
feels
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feel
that
this
Linking Words
kind of games badly effect on the world which causes crimes. In my prospective, there are
lot
Suggestion
a lot
lots
of thing which results
violence
Accept comma addition
violence, such
such
Linking Words
as television and vulnerable songs, not only games are responsible for
this
Linking Words
.
Linking Words
Further more
in addition
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
We should keep
tracking
Suggestion
track
on
Suggestion
of
our children and gives valuable lesson
instead
Linking Words
of blaming gaming console.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the parents should take
monthly report
Suggestion
monthly reports
a monthly report
of their baby from school and meet with teachers. To put in a nutshell,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
pen down and say that growing criminality in
world
Suggestion
the world
is the world is
major concern but
Suggestion
a major concern, but
a major concern but
the major concern but
we could not raise our finger on virtual console, it is just for enjoyment.
Submitted by nav92jot on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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