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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people feel that entertainers ( e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job
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The
job
Use synonyms
 of
movies stars
Suggestion
movies, stars
movie stars
movie movie stars
, musicians or sports stars are the dream
job
Use synonyms
 of majority of people
especialy
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 teenagers.
However
Linking Words
, I entirely agree that these kind of
job
Use synonyms
 should be paid too much money
compered
examine and note the similarities or differences of
compared
 to other types of jobs. Analysing the phenomenon of
higly
to a high degree or extent; favorably or with much respect
highly
 paid of celebrities and said what kind of jobs deserve to be well-paid. Celebrities like models, sports stars and
misicians
someone who plays a musical instrument (as a profession)
musicians
missions
 should be paid well due to their short career.
For example
Linking Words
, the career of football players
are finished
Suggestion
is finished
 in early age. Between 30 to 35 years-old
in
Suggestion
on
 average.
Samilary
Suggestion
Similarly
 to models. Despite of their
successefull
having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome
successful
 career,
most of entertainers
Suggestion
most entertainers
 have been struggling to find
Use synonyms
job
Suggestion
jobs
 when they become older.
That is
Linking Words
 why celebrities should
be paid highly
Suggestion
be highly paid
 to insure their
Use synonyms
life
Suggestion
lives
 in
future
Suggestion
the future
 by making project. Take the example of football
playes
participate in games or sport
plays
played
players
 in Tunisia. They run coffee shop. On
other hand
Suggestion
the other hand
, there are other occupations are very important in our
life
Use synonyms
 but they are
neglelcted
disregarded
neglected
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the field of
medecine
the branches of medical science that deal with nonsurgical techniques
medicine
medicines
. I think doctors and nurses deserve to have higher income. If we take the example of doctors'
job
Use synonyms
, sometimes they work 24 hours per day at
stretch
Suggestion
a stretch
. It is clear that their
job
Use synonyms
 is the most noble
job
Use synonyms
 in the world because they save human
life
Use synonyms
. Their role is vital in our
life
Use synonyms
,
that is
Linking Words
 why
government
Suggestion
the government
 should give them more attention. To conclude, entertainers,
dorctors
a licensed medical practitioner
doctors
directors
doctor
 or what
ever is
Suggestion
has ever been
 the kind of
job
Use synonyms
 must be well-paid. Because an income is the only
inssurance
freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities
assurance
ignorance
endurance
 of human
life
Use synonyms
. And I think
it
it is
it's
 the
responsability
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
 of the government to cater well income to its citizens.
Submitted by chamemhoucem on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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