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Band 4

Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #poverty #reason #crimes
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
dont
do not
don't
 entirely agree that poverty is the reason for every crime.
but
Suggestion
But
 according to me it has got a major role to play.
it
Suggestion
It
 is true that poor people have a very hard life to get
by which
Accept comma addition
by, which
 makes them vulnerable to commit crimes.
being
Suggestion
Being
 poor and unable to afford food or education makes it even worse.
if
Suggestion
If
 we take a look at any person who has committed
offense
a lack of politeness; a failure to show regard for others; wounding the feelings or others
offence
offences
 we can find some or other problems they have faced as a child which
scars
cause fear in
scares
 them permanently.
adults
Suggestion
Adults
 being at work for whole day there is no one look after their kids or to teach them what is right and wrong.
hence they
Accept comma addition
Hence, they
Hence they
 grow up to be what they are.
illiteracy
Suggestion
Illiteracy
 is
also
 one
of main culprit
Suggestion
main culprit
 here.
take
Suggestion
Take
for example
, a recent event in my city where a couple of teenagers abused and murdered a
women
Suggestion
woman
 were all poor, uneducated daily labourers. As a matter of fact, in
this
 world poor are the ones who are most exploited in every way.
like
Suggestion
Like
 for examples farmers, who
dont
do not
don't
 get paid their worth, or daily wagers who are not given their rightful amount, etc.
this
Suggestion
This
 can
also
 lead to a kind of hatred they develop within them towards society and
inturn
Suggestion
in turn
 turn them into criminals.
finally
Suggestion
Finally
, not all the poor end up being criminals.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 it is ultimately depends on the kind of person and his mental state to commit a crime.
poverty
Suggestion
Poverty
, illiteracy, unemployment
only contribute
Suggestion
only contributes
an
Suggestion
a
 certain extent.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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