IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, increasing number of health problems as a result of eating too much fast food.government should impose higher tax rate on fast food agree or disagree

#countries #health #food #government #tax #rate
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to modernization and the exposure of the variety of cuisine has
lead
Suggestion
led
 to the increase in the
health
Use synonyms
 related issues
,
Accept space
,
Hence
Linking Words
, some people believe that by imposing higher
tax
Use synonyms
 on fast
food
Use synonyms
 is the only solution for reducing the number of people who eats junk
food
Use synonyms
. I believe that by increasing
Use synonyms
tax rate
Suggestion
the tax rate
tax rates
 On fast
food
Use synonyms
 will reduce fast
food
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
. To commence with
,
Accept space
,
There are umpteen factors which point out how various nourishment that affects a person's
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
the major reason for the
health
Use synonyms
 issues is the use of various chemical compounds which in turn affect your
health
Use synonyms
 when it is beyond the limit.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
using the same oil for cooking more than once, adding substance
such
Linking Words
 as (chilli
,
Accept space
,
salt and cardamom)
beyond
Suggestion
Beyond
 their required amount and adulteration of
food
Use synonyms
 are the reason for
health
Use synonyms
 problems like diabetes
,
Accept space
,
ulcer
,
Accept space
,
heart attack etc.Which can be controlled by the increasing the Fast-
food
Use synonyms
tax
Use synonyms
 rate exponentially.
For example
Linking Words
, in America the majority of people are suffering from Various diseases just because of excessive
consumption
Use synonyms
 of Fast-
food
Use synonyms
. On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
Just by imposing high
tax
Use synonyms
 will not reduce the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
unhygienic
Suggestion
food
Use synonyms
.The children
,
Accept space
,
teenager and adults should be made aware about the side-
affects
property of a personal character that is portable but not used in business
effects
 of eating junk foods
,
Accept space
,
 Which should be done through a process called
health
Use synonyms
 awareness program
.
Accept space
.
 To encapsulate
,
Accept space
,
 people from olden times has a high mortality rate when compared with the present the main reasons of their good
health
Use synonyms
 is the intake of hygienic
food
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
By reducing the enormous intake of fast
food
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
 Which can be done by following Strict measures to reduce their
consumption
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by adityamnair97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • heart disease
  • diabetes
  • affordable
  • lower-income groups
  • public health initiatives
  • generate additional revenue
  • effective
  • consumption
  • disproportionately
  • resistance
  • economic downturns
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • complementary approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: