IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the augment of
cyber world
Suggestion
the cyber world
 and
transportation
Use synonyms
 people incline to move out of their shell have liberalization to
work
Use synonyms
 and live anywhere in the world. In my opinion, the advantages of working anywhere with
development
Suggestion
the development
 of ICT sector eclipsed by its disadvantages. The predominant advantage of
communication
Use synonyms
 sector on working culture is
higher opportunity
Suggestion
a higher opportunity
 for working people to enhance their vocations. As
communication
Use synonyms
 is the
life
Use synonyms
 blood of any organisation, technology innovation in business aid in
endeavor
a purposeful or industrious undertaking (especially one that requires effort or boldness)
endeavour
. One can access emails and other electronic media to contact with their fellow ones, to intensify the discussion making powers and other operations of the business.
For example
Linking Words
, human resource managers in company usually located in
main office but
Suggestion
the main office, but
the main office but
 can be easily contacted through phones and emails.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
communication
Use synonyms
 technology boosted the working prospects of people in organisations.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
transportation
Use synonyms
 development improves the chances to
work
Use synonyms
 and live anywhere in the globe. As diversification and versatility in
work
Use synonyms
 helps expatriate to utilize modes of
transportation
Use synonyms
. Use of cars and metros for
work
Use synonyms
 is common mode in
Use synonyms
transportation sector
Suggestion
the transportation sector
. In metro cities like Delhi 90% of people use
metro
Suggestion
the metro
 to their
work
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, advancement in conveyance
assist
Suggestion
assists
 in freedom live and
work
Use synonyms
 anywhere.
Although
Linking Words
, the sole disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is the ignorance in the
culture
Suggestion
cultural
 value. As evolution in
communication
Use synonyms
 and conveyance lead to the imbalance of
work
Use synonyms
 and
life
Use synonyms
. They have no time to regard their cultural events and are fully occupied in their business obligations. A report in economic time shows that 49.7% are not able to manage their
work
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 balance. But
this
Linking Words
 unevenness can be resolved by using different techniques of
work
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
 balance
in corporates
Suggestion
in corporate
incorporates
. In conclusion, the freedom to
work
Use synonyms
 and using developed
communication
Use synonyms
 and transit ways have more benefits like upgrading vocations and
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 with blips of
eye
Suggestion
an eye
the eye
then
Linking Words
, ignorance of the
culture
Suggestion
cultural
 values.
Submitted by harman.sodhi390 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication technology
  • transportation
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • freedom
  • work and live
  • development
  • increased job opportunities
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • cultural exposure
  • diversity
  • economic growth
  • globalization
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • loss of community
  • sense of belonging
  • expensive cost of living
  • housing
  • strain on infrastructure
  • resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: