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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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THE GRAPH SHOWS HOW MUCH
SODIUM
Use synonyms
, SATURATED FAT AND ADDED SUGARS WERE CONSUMED IN THE AVERAGE MEAL IN THE UNITED STATES. LOOKING FROM AN
OVERALL
Linking Words
 PERSPECTIVE, IT IS READILY APPARENT THAT THE MAJORITY OF
SODIUM
Use synonyms
 AND FAT WERE CONSUMED AT
DINNER
Use synonyms
,
WHILE
Linking Words
 MOST
Use synonyms
SUGAR
Change to a plural noun
SUGARS
show examples
 WAS EATEN IN SNACKS.
LUNCH
Use synonyms
ALSO
Linking Words
 TENDED TO BE SALTY AND HAVE A LOT OF FAT
WHILE
Linking Words
 BREAKFAST HAD THE LOWEST PERCENTAGES FOR ALL THREE NUTRIENTS.
DINNER
Use synonyms
 AND
LUNCH
Use synonyms
 HAD ROUGHLY SIMILAR, LARGE PROPORTIONS FOR BOTH
SODIUM
Use synonyms
 (43% FOR
DINNER
Use synonyms
 AND 29% FOR
LUNCH
Use synonyms
) AND SATURATED FAT (37% FOR
DINNER
Use synonyms
 AND 26% FOR
LUNCH
Use synonyms
). THE AMOUNT OF
SUGAR
Use synonyms
 IN AN AVERAGE MEAL FOR
DINNER
Use synonyms
 AND
LUNCH
Use synonyms
 WAS MUCH LOWER AT 23% AND 19%, RESPECTIVELY. TURNING TO BREAKFAST AND
LUNCH
Use synonyms
, WHICH
ALSO
Linking Words
 HAD COMPARABLE PERCENTAGES, THEY WERE BOTH MADE UP OF 14%
SODIUM
Use synonyms
. FOR SATURATED FATS, SNACKS CONTAINED 21% AND BREAKFAST WAS SLIGHTLY LOWER AT 16%. IN TERMS OF
SUGAR
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, THERE WAS THE GREATEST DISPARITY WITH 42% OF SNACKS BEING SUGARY AND JUST 18% OF BREAKFASTS BEING MADE UP OF
SUGAR
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, dinner, sugar, lunch with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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