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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to important problems. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #aid #organizations #attention #celebrities
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From the perspective of some people,
aid
 agencies can take advantage of celebrity’s fame to raise public awareness towards certain matters of importance. Others,
however
, hold the view that
such
 method may only bring counterproductive results. Personally, I find the latter more convincing. Those who support the idea of using famed individuals’ assistance have their own justifications.
First
 of all, people who are considered role models apparently have a considerable amount of influence on the public. Emma Watson,
for instance
, being a prominent actress, is currently the goodwill ambassador for the United Nations, promoting gender equality and undoubtedly drawing a great deal of
attention
 from her admirers.
Furthermore
, a wider range of
population
Suggestion
the population
 can be reached if an organisation’s campaign is represented by a popular star. In many parts of the world, some film stars are even more well-known to the locals than the organisation itself
owing
Suggestion
owes
 to their appearance in familiar cinematic products.
Therefore
 the introduction of a humanitarian campaign can be
further
 facilitated thanks to the artists.
Nevertheless
, I can understand why other people are against inviting celebrities for assistance. When relying on the fame of some people to attract more public
attention
, an
aid
 program can
also
 be affected by their scandals. Mass public disapproval may arise from a representative receiving a speeding ticket or getting caught using illegal drugs, undervaluing the significance of the
aid
 program. Another foreseeable drawback is that the public might take the presence of famous entertainers as a mere publicity stunt. Without the evidence of real actions taken to mitigate a problem
such
 as participating in a
voluntary
Suggestion
volunteer
 team to help the people in need, famous people may fail to draw the
attention
 of people to the situation. In conclusion, while some people have reasons to believe in the success of celebrities in getting people to pay
attention
, I tend to think that
such
 approach might not prove to be effective for
aid
 organisations as expected.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international aid organizations
  • draw attention to
  • important problems
  • celebrities
  • make the problems seem less important
  • influence
  • raise funds
  • public awareness
  • engagement
  • inspire
  • helping those in need
  • distract from
  • real issues
  • deep understanding
  • advocate for
  • overshadow
  • work of aid organizations
  • shallow
  • superficial understanding
  • sensationalize
  • own gain
  • genuinely beneficial
  • caution must be exercised
What to do next:
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