IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

#people #drinks #drink #consumption
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is definitely true that the consumption of sugary drinks has dramatically increased in recent years. The properties found in
such
Linking Words
 drinks are responsible for
this
Linking Words
, and various actions can be taken to deal with
this
Linking Words
 situation. One of the major reasons why manufacturers make sugar-sweetened beverages is due to their highly addictive ingredients - sugar and caffeine - which are prevalent in the majority of
such
Linking Words
 drinks. Based on recent scientific research, these substances can elevate energy levels as well as enhance mood, which are both very effective for people who do not have time to cook nutritious meals for themselves.
Consequently
Linking Words
, more and more customers, especially children, choose carbonated drinks as their instant energy boosters. Another reason for the popularity of
such
Linking Words
 beverages is that they are becoming more readily available. It takes customers only a few minutes to purchase a carbonated drink from a supermarket, a store, or a vending machine.
This
Linking Words
 kind of drink is so ubiquitous that there is little incentive for sweet-toothed people to give up their
favorite
something regarded with special favor or liking
favourite
 drinks
in
Suggestion
on
 the long term. Several measures can be implemented to counter
this
Linking Words
 problem. One of these is to impose higher taxes on unhealthy drinks with a high sugar content so that they become
unaffordable
that you have the financial means for
affordable
 and less appealing to customers. An additional solution would be to reduce the vast amount of advertising for high-sugar beverages that mostly target children. Educational campaigns
should
Suggestion
should also run
also
Linking Words
 be run in schools and companies to raise awareness about the health risks associated with the excessive consumption of
such
Linking Words
 drinks. In conclusion, a lot of factors have contributed to the trend towards increased consumption of sugary drinks. In turn, and due to their negative impact, several approaches must be taken to mitigate the consequences.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: