IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#threat #weapons #world #peace #power #energy #technology
Nuclear technology has been a boon as well
a
Correct word choice
as a
show examples
bane to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human society. In my opinion, It has been more harmful than beneficial. I would argue that the
countries
 with nuclear
power
 exercise dominance in terms of
negotiatons
Correct your spelling
negotiations
with non-nuclear
countries
. They use nuclear
weapon
Fix the agreement mistake
weapons
show examples
 as a political tool to exercise unfair advantage and control over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
countries
.
This
situation
 is bound to reach a threshold when tension between the nuclear and non-nuclear
countries
 will boil over and lead to very undesired situations.
Also
, imagine a
situation
 where an unfairly treated non-nuclear country develops its own nuclear weapon and tries to retaliate for all the suppression it went through.
Also
, every year there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 more nations with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nuclear
weapon
Fix the agreement mistake
weapons
show examples
, that
situation
 is not far away
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries
 will have their own nuclear
weapons
 and we are back to
square
Add an article
the square
show examples
 where there
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 no nations with nuclear
power
. So if the argument that nuclear
weapons
 maintain peace were to be true there
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be a
situation
 where every nation
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 have nuclear
weapons
 and
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
 of possessing nuclear
weapons
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be neutralised and peace
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be over. Though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 I agree with the fact that nuclear technology provides us with cheap and clean energy, I would
Argue
Fix capitalization
argue
show examples
 that the side effects of casualties in nuclear plants have been fatal and irreversible.
For example
,
explosion
Correct article usage
the explosion
show examples
 In
Chernobyl
Correct article usage
the Chernobyl
show examples
power
plant
 resulted in
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
 of
plethora
Correct article usage
a plethora
show examples
 of people,
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 and plants.
Also
, it affected the whole
eco system
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
show examples
surrounding the neighbourhood. On top of that,
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 of
Chernobyl
Correct the spelling
Chornobyl
show examples
 is still unliveable and it will be unliveable
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 foreseeable future. I would
also
 like to back my claim
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 another example of a
power
plant
 in Japan’s coastal area which was marred by
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
 and
Tsunami
Fix the agreement mistake
tsunamis
show examples
. Though the
plant
 has been abandoned, we still have reactive water trapped in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
plant
 which needs to be cured before it
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 be released
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
sea
Add an article
the sea
show examples
. My point here is that we haven’t been able to develop techniques yet to handle the fatalities involved with nuclear technology and we are not ready yet to fully utilise it without causing our ecosystem any harm.
Submitted by pathakgaurav03 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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