Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

At the recent years, the en

tertainments i

Suggestion

entertainment

cons became th

e most influencer f

Suggestion

the most influential

the most influence

the most influences

r y

Suggestion

outh, and effected in their li

fe style i

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

n many ways. For

this

reason they paid in large crazy amount of money.

However

, the way of life of youth people ar

e c

Suggestion

razy in some how. And they afford to pay their money to entertain themselves by fo

llow t

Suggestion

following

hose stars. For

this

reason, The entertainment stars become greedy and asking high prices to la

unched t

Suggestion

launch

heir concerts, festivals and fo

otballs g

Suggestion

football

ames in st

adium.

Suggestion

the stadium

As the marketing theory, high demand high prices asked fo

r r

Suggestion

eturn. Even though, There is so many other jobs should pa

id m

Suggestion

pay

ore than entertainers like doctors, as ex

ample o

Suggestion

an example

examples

r lecturers, they contribute in

society

even more. Absolutely, I am with

this

ew point,

a mental position from which things are viewed

viewpoint

that’s sa

ys w

Suggestion

saying

e should orient our consumption be

havior t

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

oward

this

kind of jobs, that

society

relay much more to develop and rising among the world

society

In contrast

, I do

not denied t

Suggestion

do not deny

he importance of the role the entertainer played in the

society

, but I do not agree to hallow those film stars, Pop musician, and sport stars. And take them as mo

del f

Suggestion

a model

or success.

Submitted by shubeilatm on Tue Feb 18 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

190 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter explain why you changed jobs describe your new job tell him/her your other news

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

In recent years, technology has significantly transformed the way people communicate. Some believe that these changes have brought more advantages than disadvantages, while others argue the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Many things that were used to be done at homes by hands are now being done by machines does this advantages or disadvantages