IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #control #behaviour #children #age #freedom
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children, at a very early age, are susceptible to the world around them. They cannot differentiate good and bad.
Thus
, many a parents want to pull the harness on their children from really a tender age.
By contrast
, others opine that children need liberty to be a complete
nevertheless
, I am of the honest opinion that the combination of government and independence is a better approach than emphasizing any one of the two. Admittedly, it is the onus on parents to guide and curb their toddlers so that they can act in a proper manner. Parents should instill the ethics and values in their children. More importantly, the restriction is needed to teach them about submission. To give an illustration, in our lives, each and everybody has to submit himself to some kind of authority. People are controlled and obey discipline in order to avert chaos.
Therefore
, parents should set rules to manage young children and provide them with limits that what they can and cannot do.
This
 in turn that young children are like clay and you can shape the form you like to. On the flip side, freedom makes young children's self-reliant. It provides children with the opportunity of exploring mistakes by themselves and solves issues on their own way. When children can solve problems alone, they would be more confident that will fuel self-esteem. Another key thing to remember, creativity is very vital for all of us. And a child would be created only when he is allowed to make his own choice and do things in their own approach.
Hence
, parents should ensure a positive environment so that their children can hone their creative skills. Based on aforementioned arguments, I would like to say that independence and oversight are the linchpin in parenting. Toddlers are like clay that parents can form the shape as they wish. Despite, restriction can make the rebellious. So, what I want to say is that young children need liberty and supervise in a proper proportion.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: