IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reason why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience.

#families #reason #change
In
this
 contemporary world, family
bond
 among family members has been changed when compared to the past. Mainly,
this
 has happened due to the complex
life
 style that we have currently.
However
,
this
trend
 can be changed in a positive manner with the help of few commitments. With our busy
life
, the
bond
 that we had with the family has become so weak. In the past, most of families used to have their own family space to discuss their family matters.
However
, with the complex
life
 style
this
trend
 now has changed.
For example
, most families
use
 to gather themselves in the dinner
time
 and they
use
 to have their own family chat within that moment.
However
, with the busy schedules now they have and they
use
 to work beyond the normed working hours which can be lead to missing the dinner
time
 with their families. Clearly,
this
 can create huge impact on a child's
life
 and be lead to create a gap between their parents. Even though, with the help of minor adjustments
this
trend
 can be changed. Parents can have a day off from their workstations and
use
 that
time
 to spend with their kids together.
For instance
, most of people apply for annual leave plan on their kids' summer vacation and travel somewhere with their families. In short, family reunion
time
 can be used effectively and will be able to make stronger the family
bond
. Is the present family
bond
 stronger when compared to the past? When compared to the past
this
trend
 is decreasing and with a few commitments,
such
 as family outings that can be increased eliminate the most of the issues that they facing with their youngsters.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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