In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →

Introduction

Suggestion

is believed that one could face both practical and social problems when a person has to speak a foreign language

Body paragraph 1

Firstly

Linking Words

, due to the Longer

Life

Use synonyms

expectancy there would be

Use synonyms

increase

Suggestion

an increase

in the number of

the older

Suggestion

older

people in the society.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, there is

Use synonyms

increase

Suggestion

increasing

Body paragraph 2

Suggestion

the population of the older age group which are mostly retired or non working people means lower tax revenue. As to maintain the economy of the any country, there is

need

Suggestion

a need

Suggestion

for

Body paragraph 3

service

Suggestion

Service

class people, so that

Use synonyms

government

Suggestion

the government

can

collect the

Accept comma addition

collect, the

more tax and that will the

increase

Use synonyms

the economy

growth

Suggestion

grow

Secondly

Linking Words

, older people

gets

Suggestion

get

sick more frequently

Body paragraph 4

throughout

Suggestion

Throughout

the year,

as a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

they

requires

Suggestion

require

more number of doctors

Accept space

nurses

Accept space

healtcare

the preservation of mental and physical health by preventing or treating illness through services offered by the health profession

healthcare

facilities and old age homes.So to provide all these

facilities governmnet

Suggestion

facilities, governments

facilities governments

facilities government

would have to invest more on older people.

Body paragraph 5

For example

Linking Words

Use synonyms

government

Suggestion

the government

is providing subsidy to older people in health care, food, travel and shelter etc. If there would be longer

life

Use synonyms

Linking Words

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

government

Use synonyms

subsidy fund

also

Linking Words

increases.

Body paragraph 6

On the other hand

Linking Words

, increasing

life

Use synonyms

expanctancy

an expectation

expectancy

has advantage that people can enjoy longer

life

Use synonyms

with their family. They can share their good and bad

life

Use synonyms

exprencies

the accumulation of knowledge or skill that results from direct participation in events or activities

experiences

, so that the people

Body paragraph 7

will

Suggestion

Will

not follow the wrong the path.

Also

Linking Words

young youth

Accept comma addition

young, youth

can learn various social and cultural values.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while

Use synonyms

increase

Suggestion

an increase

the increase

increases

in the

life

Use synonyms

span of a person has many problems

Suggestion

with

Use synonyms

government

Suggestion

the government

or their funds, in my view, the advancements of the technology

has

Suggestion

have

many

disadvatages

the quality of having an inferior or less favorable position

disadvantages

Feb 22, 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

248 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

infrastructure
efficient
congestion
sustainable
environmentally friendly
connectivity
economic growth
public transportation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by ‎almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this ‎disturbing trend.
It is evident that the proportion of overweight children in Western countries has increased by around 20% over the past ten years. Several factors contribute to this trend, but effective solutions can be implemented to address the issue.
6
band
Some people claim that not enough of waste product from homes is recycled. They say that the only to increase recycling is for the governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Preserving the environment from plastic material is an essential fundamental to achieve all over the World . Some people are not able to recycle products from home, whereas, they claim authorities should be responsible to increase sustainability and to declare as a rule . This essay will discuss both views and will explain why the government is responsible for such requirements .
6.5
band
Freshwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of this increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?
There are limited resources of freshwater in the world and the demand is increasing. The possible reason is poor water management, on the other hand, environmental issues such as drought in many countries that make freshwater resources limited. Therefore, the government and individuals could help this situation by building a water system to distribute freshwater to certain areas that lack freshwater.
8
band
Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: •explain what you are currently doing •describe your suitability for this area of work •say when you can attend an interview
I am writing to you regarding the recent job posting for Indian Chef, that you have advertised on your website. I have recently moved to Canada and looking for a job in a restaurant as a Chef.
6
band
In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In numerous countries, children are involve in several types of employment, which are paid. According to some individuals, this is not beneficial, whilst others believe that this should be regarded as precious work experience. Although paid work sometimes makes the lives of children hectic, I personally think that this experience is precious because it ultimately facilitates them to find employment in the future.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by ‎almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this ‎disturbing trend.

Some people claim that not enough of waste product from homes is recycled. They say that the only to increase recycling is for the governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Freshwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of this increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?

Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: •explain what you are currently doing •describe your suitability for this area of work •say when you can attend an interview

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.