IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

#people #drinks #drink #consumption
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It is true that the consumption of sugar-based drinks has increased rapidly in recent years. There are a number of reasons behind
this
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 tendency and several solutions should be adopted by governments and individuals to improve the situation. There are two primary reasons why people are consuming more and more sugary drinks. One reason is that the beverage companies advertise attractively their products to many target audiences and
this
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 method encourages many people to buy and consume their product.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, sugar-based beverages had some advantages over other kinds of drink,
such
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 as distinct
flavor
the general atmosphere of a place or situation and the effect that it has on people
flavour
, high energy and convenience, people find it easy to buy soft drinks anywhere, easy to concentrate on their work after using sugar-based beverages. These benefits fit the habits of modern humans who have a busy life. Fortunately, several measures could be taken to prevent the rise in the popularity of sugary drinks.
Firstly
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, The authorities should raise tax on the sale of sugary drinks.
This
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 solution has been applied in some European countries
such
Linking Words
 as England, France, Hungary, and others could implement too. A
second
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 measure would be broadening of health awareness on TV channels, the internet or social networks.
In addition
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, the government would require beverage manufacturers to add health warnings on the label of their product like what
tobacco companies
Suggestion
the tobacco companies
 have done.
Finally
Linking Words
, introducing restrictions on the consumption of sugary drinks in schools, bus stations, cinemas and hospitals by removing vending machines from public places. In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for the increase in sugary drinks and steps need to be taken to tackle
this
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 problem.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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