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Band 5.5

IELTS Academic Graph Writing - Bar Chart: The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

IELTS Academic Graph Writing - Bar Chart: The chart below shows the top ten countries with the highest spending on travel in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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GRAPHICS in
THIS
Linking Words
 TEST tell the reader about THE TOP TEN
COUNTRIES
Use synonyms
 WITH THE HIGHEST Allocation ON
TRAVEL
Use synonyms
 IN 2014. THE display of EXPENDITURE IS BASED ON THE CALCULATION OF US $
tons
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.
COUNTRIES
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 from the information
graph
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 CONTAINs
CHINA
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, the UNITED STATES, GERMANY, the UNITED KINGDOM, SINGAPORE, SOUTH KOREA, HONG KONG, INDIA, MALAYSIA,
TAIWAN
Correct word choice
and TAIWAN
show examples
 (Republic of
China
Use synonyms
/
ROC
Use synonyms
). The
GRAPH
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 was using
MULTIPLE
Correct article usage
a MULTIPLE
show examples
 OF 20 SCALES WHICH STARTS FROM 0 TO 120. THE
GRAPH
Use synonyms
 was SHOWED WITH HORIZONTAL DISPLAY WHICH IS ACCOMPANIED by THE SEPARATOR LINE IN THE SCALE WITH VALUE 4.
THIS
Linking Words
GRAPH
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 WAS RELATED TO THE SOURCE FROM UNWTO
COUNTRIES
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 WITH THE HIGHEST COSTUMER expend ON
TRAVEL
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 2014 FALL INTO
CHINA
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. The number one COUNTRY WITH CONCENTRATE 110 US $
tons
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.
Next
Linking Words
 RATED ACCORDED TO THE UNITED STATES AND GERMANY WITH 85 US $
tons
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, and
also
Linking Words
 followed by the UNITED KINGDOM WITH 55 US $
tons
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, SOUTH KOREA AND HONG KONG WITH 20 US $
tons
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, INDIA WITH 15 US $
tons
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,
then
Linking Words
 MALAYSIA WITH 12 US $
tons
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. The
LAST
Linking Words
 RATED in
graphic
Correct article usage
the graphic
show examples
 showed by the
ROC
Use synonyms
 WITH 10 US $
tons
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 consumed. COMPARISON OF DONATE consumer ON
TRAVEL
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CHINA
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 WITH
ROC
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 CONTAINED 100 US $
tons
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. As the
graph
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show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the purchaser EXPENDed ON
CHINA
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 IS 11 TIMES LARGER THAN
ROC
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. THERE ARE 2 (two)
COUNTRIES
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 THAT HAVE THE EQUALIZATION OF SPENDING COSTUMERS each other. Some
COUNTRIES
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 IN ASIA
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 telling us to CONTINUE and DOMINATE COMPARED TO OTHER continents. The conclusion from the diagram was telling us
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how much money
spent
Add a missing verb
was spent
show examples
 on
travel
Use synonyms
2014
Change preposition
in 2014
show examples
. We have known the
People
Change noun form
People's
show examples
 Republic of
China
Use synonyms
 BECOMES THE BIGGEST SPENDING patron IN 2014.
Use synonyms
CHINA
Change noun form
CHINA'S
show examples
 NEIGHBOURING
COUNTRIES
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, HONG KONG AND
ROC
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 ARE INCLUDED. THAT
Linking Words
ALSO
Add a missing verb
IS ALSO
show examples
 RELATED TO
NUMBER
Correct article usage
THE NUMBER
show examples
 OF POPULATIONS WHERE THERE ARE POTENTIALS FOR VERY BIG TRAVELS

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, travel, tons, graph, china, roc with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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