in some countries it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age is this a positive or negative development ?

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In general, a company requires experienced,
hard_working
Correct your spelling
hardworking
and enthusiastic adults.
However
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, in a few areas around the world, companies are not allowed to refuse employees based on their age. Despite
the
Correct determiner usage
this
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fact, I think
this
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is a negative development because work vacancies should be given to adults
as well as
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elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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shall be retired and relax for the rest of their lives. First and foremost l, these industries
needs
Change the verb form
need
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skilled, energetic and smart people to work with them. Who might encourage
to
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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daily growth in the required field, which is only possible if you have workers without limitation in their capacities
.
Change the punctuation
?
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For instance
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, being a representative is merely suitable for the age group of twentieth.
Otherwise
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, the job’s responsibilities cannot be fulfilled.
As a result
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, companies ought to fill job vacancies with deserved applicants.
Furthermore
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, when a job is given to an old worker, they will need more rest during the period of their duty as
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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might have some
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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issues that require regular breaks. Hypertension,
for example
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, is one of the common heart diseases among aged people.
Consequently
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, it
will
Wrong verb form
would
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be much better if older ages could spend the remaining of their lives relaxing, improving their health and exercising. In conclusion,
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although
Correct word choice
apply
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in some
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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around
Change preposition
of
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the
world
Add a comma
world,
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industries are not permitted
in rejecting
Change preposition
to reject
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employees depending merely on their ages. I strongly believe that
this
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is a negative development and
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
need more rest.
On the other hand
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, filling job offers with young and motivated applicants has a positive effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the growth of the company.
Submitted by shanya.faraidoon.95 on

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task response
The essay addresses the task but does not fully develop the ideas, providing insufficient support and examples. The position is clear, but lacks depth and complexity.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks a clear logical structure. The ideas are not consistently linked, and the connection between paragraphs is weak.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age diversity
  • combat age discrimination
  • job opportunities
  • experienced individuals
  • vast knowledge
  • suboptimal hiring decisions
  • legal compliance
  • reverse discrimination
  • operational costs
  • health insurance
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