in some countries it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age is this a positive or negative development ?
In general, a company requires experienced,
hard_working
and enthusiastic adults. Correct your spelling
hardworking
However
, in a few areas around the world, companies are not allowed to refuse employees based on their age. Despite Linking Words
the
fact, I think Correct determiner usage
this
this
is a negative development because work vacancies should be given to adults Linking Words
as well as
Linking Words
elderly
shall be retired and relax for the rest of their lives.
First and foremost l, these industries Correct article usage
the elderly
needs
skilled, energetic and smart people to work with them. Who might encourage Change the verb form
need
to
Change preposition
apply
the
daily growth in the required field, which is only possible if you have workers without limitation in their capacitiesCorrect article usage
apply
.
Change the punctuation
?
For instance
, being a representative is merely suitable for the age group of twentieth. Linking Words
Otherwise
, the job’s responsibilities cannot be fulfilled. Linking Words
As a result
, companies ought to fill job vacancies with deserved applicants.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, when a job is given to an old worker, they will need more rest during the period of their duty as Linking Words
elderly
might have some Correct article usage
the elderly
health related
issues that require regular breaks. Hypertension, Add a hyphen
health-related
for example
, is one of the common heart diseases among aged people. Linking Words
Consequently
, it Linking Words
will
be much better if older ages could spend the remaining of their lives relaxing, improving their health and exercising.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
would
Linking Words
although
in some Correct word choice
apply
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
around
the Change preposition
of
world
industries are not permitted Add a comma
world,
in rejecting
employees depending merely on their ages. I strongly believe that Change preposition
to reject
this
is a negative development and Linking Words
elderly
need more rest. Correct article usage
the elderly
On the other hand
, filling job offers with young and motivated applicants has a positive effect Linking Words
in
the growth of the company.Change preposition
on
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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the essay lacks a clear logical structure. The ideas are not consistently linked, and the connection between paragraphs is weak.