IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists rather than local people. Why does this happen? What can be done to encourage local people to visit museums and historical sites?

#museums #sites #tourists #people #happen #visit
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It is true that outside
visitors give more
Suggestion
visitors to give more
 preference to museums and ancient buildings,
however
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 native of that particular
city
Use synonyms
 do not take much interest toward these sites.There are multifarious reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and I believe that people can be motivated to
visit
Use synonyms
 these places by taking
number
Suggestion
a number
the number
 of steps which I will discuss in
next
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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 with the reasons of visiting historical buildings is less by local individuals as compared to tourists.
Firstly
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, people of that
city
Use synonyms
 are always busy in their work
,
Accept space
,
 so they do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to go to any place and whenever they have some free
Use synonyms
time
Accept comma addition
time, then
then
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 they like to spend the free
time
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 with family,
conversely
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 tourists come to the
city
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 for enjoying their holidays or free
time
Use synonyms
 and they have
purpose
Suggestion
purposed
 to
visit
Use synonyms
 different sites and museums for expanding their knowledge.
For example
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, when people go to Golden temple in Amritsar
then
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 people have
plan
Suggestion
planned
 to
visit
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 it when they go to Amritsar and they
also
Linking Words
visit
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 other places there like Jalia Wala Bagh, Sikh museums, Baba Deep Singh Gurudwara Sahib As well.
Thus
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, it depends on individuals’ main purpose why they are going to a particular
place but
Accept comma addition
place, but
 local people always live there and their purposes are to earn and live in that
city
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. There are
number ways
Suggestion
a number ways
 to encourage
inhabitants
Suggestion
the inhabitants
 of that place to see museums and primitive sites.As government should add interesting events and games on these sites so that people get attracted
toward
Suggestion
to
 these places and
visit
Use synonyms
 them and show them to their children as well as their friends.
Moreover
Linking Words
, entry fee should not be imposed to local people as some people do not spend money for visiting museums and monuments and they think that it is not
worthwhile utilization
Suggestion
a worthwhile utilization
 of their money.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if there is free entry to these sites and there is something amusing for people, obviously they would like to
visit
Use synonyms
 these sites. On
individual level
Suggestion
an individual level
, people should take initiative
toward
Suggestion
to
 visiting historical places and apprise their children about the history and culture of that region where they live
.
Accept space
.
 By
this
Linking Words
 they would be able to pass knowledge to
Linking Words
next generation
Suggestion
the next generation
next generations
 as well. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are various
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 that local people do not like
Use synonyms
visit
Suggestion
visiting
 museums, there different steps can be taken on government and individual level toward visiting these sites.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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