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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie charts show the proportion of transport in main bridge in the UK in three years

The pie charts show the proportion of transport in main bridge in the UK in three years
#show #proportion #transport #bridge #uk #three #years
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The rendered pie three pie charts illustrate the percentage of various
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 which were used
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 bridge in the UK in three different years.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in the initial
year
Use synonyms
, people gave more
prefrence
Correct your spelling
preference
 to recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 was, accounted for 56%,
whereas
Linking Words
 private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 stood at 22% as against to public transport
vehicles
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
 were less popular in the UK.
Besides
Linking Words
, the maximum proportion of private
vehicles
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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used by
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 was registered
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 56% in 1985, which was
equal
Add an article
the equal
an equal
show examples
 percentage of recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in the former
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, people used lorries and other commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
 and public transport
vehicles
Use synonyms
 were 26% and 14%, respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, just 4% of recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 used
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
, it was witnessed that private
vehicles
Use synonyms
 reached
at
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
74%, which was the highest proportion of
vehicles
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 by
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, lorries and other commercial
vehicles
Use synonyms
 became less popular
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
, recorded in 12%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 was little increased at 9%. To wrap up, it is lucid that private transportation was more popular in other years except
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, recreational
vehicles
Use synonyms
 were more popular in the first
year
Use synonyms
 among people.
Submitted by prabhjotkaurgill583 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, moreover".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 88%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, vehicles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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