All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, how could it be tackled?
Across the globe, taxes on unhealthy
people
of all age groups are dealing with the increasing problems
of obesity. The main causes are Fix the agreement mistake
problem
sedentary
lifestyle and physical inactivity in daily life. The Correct article usage
a sedentary
health related
seminars,Add a hyphen
health-related
Correct word choice
and
food
would be the possible solutions to make people
fit. One of the main reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
people
becoming
obese is thatWrong verb form
become
,
they eat more junk Remove the comma
apply
food
, readymade packaging food
rather than homemade food
. This
is because most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
are doing sitting jobs and just because of their laziness, they prefer to buy food
from the
restaurants. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, the consumption of this
type of food
has risen considerably in past
20 years. Correct article usage
the past
This
problem can be tackled if government
Add an article
the government
should take
proper steps and Wrong verb form
takes
should impose
Wrong verb form
imposes
tax
on Add an article
a tax
the
unhealthy eatables, so that one must think twice before buying them. The second main reason is that after spending a lot of time at work, Correct article usage
apply
people
want to be relaxed and they do not want to do any kind of exercise, which makes them flabby. For example
, after coming back from the
work Correct article usage
apply
people
sit in front of the TV and enjoy unhealthy munching. In addition
to it, the
gym membership plans are very costly which Correct article usage
apply
effects
the budget of Correct your spelling
affects
a common men
.Correct the article-noun agreement
a common man
common men
The
possible solution Correct article usage
A
of
Change preposition
to
this
problem is that,
the sports or fitness clubs should provide discounts on their membership so that Remove the comma
apply
an
average individual can join them and Correct article usage
the
makes
their body fit and healthy. In conclusion, I would say that, overeating Correct subject-verb agreement
make
of
junk Change preposition
apply
food
and probably no exercising leads to the risk of obesity. The proper measures should be taken by the government as well as
fitness clubs so that people
get physically active.Submitted by ishasharma1828 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite