All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem affects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, how could it be tackled?

Across the globe,
people
of all age groups are dealing with the increasing
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
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of obesity. The main causes are
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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lifestyle and physical inactivity in daily life. The
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
seminars,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
taxes on unhealthy
food
would be the possible solutions to make
people
fit. One of the main
reason
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reasons
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of
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apply
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people
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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obese is that
,
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apply
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they eat more junk
food
, readymade packaging
food
rather than homemade
food
.
This
is because most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
are doing sitting jobs and just because of their laziness, they prefer to buy
food
from
the
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apply
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restaurants.
For instance
, the consumption of
this
type of
food
has risen considerably in
past
Correct article usage
the past
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20 years.
This
problem can be tackled if
government
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the government
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should take
Wrong verb form
takes
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proper steps and
should impose
Wrong verb form
imposes
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tax
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a tax
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on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unhealthy eatables, so that one must think twice before buying them. The second main reason is that after spending a lot of time at work,
people
want to be relaxed and they do not want to do any kind of exercise, which makes them flabby.
For example
, after coming back from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work
people
sit in front of the TV and enjoy unhealthy munching.
In addition
to it,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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gym membership plans are very costly which
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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the budget of
a common men
Correct the article-noun agreement
a common man
common men
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.
The
Correct article usage
A
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possible solution
of
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to
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this
problem is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the sports or fitness clubs should provide discounts on their membership so that
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
average individual can join them and
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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their body fit and healthy. In conclusion, I would say that, overeating
of
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apply
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junk
food
and probably no exercising leads to the risk of obesity. The proper measures should be taken by the government
as well as
fitness clubs so that
people
get physically active.
Submitted by ishasharma1828 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Overweight
  • Epidemic
  • Sedentary
  • Processed food
  • Fast food
  • Nutritional education
  • Awareness
  • Stress
  • Emotional eating
  • Genetic factors
  • Access
  • Healthy food options
  • Marketing
  • Urbanization
  • Lifestyles
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