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Band 5

Some people think that in school discipline should br the job of the teacher where as some believe it is the parents responsibility. discuss both side and give your opinion.

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While parents obviously play a major role in the way that
there
of them or themselves
their
 child develops as the get older many individual delivers that school discipline must be the job of tutor.
However other
Accept comma addition
However, other
 people think that it is the role of guardians.
This
 essay will examine
bothe
two things or people together
both
 sides of the arguments. There is no doubt that there are factors external to the family that significantly impact on a child’s development.
For example
, if a child is learning from
there
of them or themselves
their
 guardian rather
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 from school it gives them more moral values
,
Accept space
,
responsibility and self care, even though teachers can give them
gudence
something that provides direction or advice as to a decision or course of action
guidance
 and taught them to behave and learn how to be in
discipline
Suggestion
the discipline
.
Accept space
.
 Where school
can not
can not
cannot
 protect them forever. Ultimately,
however
, it is
family
Suggestion
a family
families
 who have the most important impact. Children spend nearly all of their time with their family, especially in their early years. They develop their confidence, socialisation skills, morals, values and views on life through their interaction with them. Proof of the importance of
this
 can be seen in the differences between some children. Those that grow up in a dysfunctional home often eventually have problems themselves, whilst those that are brought up in a warm and close environment end up more confident and secure in adult life. To conclude, it is the family that can provide a supportive, secure, and nurturing environment, which is crucial to the way in which a child becomes an adult.
Although
 it is clear that social factors play a part, I would argue that it is the former
that is
 the most important.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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