the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

This
line graph illustrates the
percentage
of people who are above 65 years old between 1940 and2040 in three different countries including Japan, Sweden and USA. o
verall,
Suggestion
Overall
there is a tremendous surge in aging Use synonyms s
ocietypopulacepeoplecommunityculturestatepublic
Suggestion
Societypopulacepeoplecommunityculturestatepublic
It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
p
opulation
Suggestion
Population
above 65 in all the three c
ountries mainly
Accept comma addition
countries, mainly
after the
year
of 2000. In 1940, the
percentage
of people who were above 65 years old was between 5 to 10 % only. In USA was just below 10%,
then
increased gradually to reach just below 15% in the
year
of 2020. Studies suggest that after 2020 it is expected that the number will steep up to reach just below one quarter of the
population
.
o
n
Suggestion
On
the other hand, in Japan the aged p
opluation
the people who inhabit a territory or state
population
was gradually decreasing below 5%
,
Accept space
,
then
in the mid n
intees it
Accept comma addition
nineties, it
nineties it
started to raise up to reach about 5% in the
year
of 2000. i
t
Suggestion
It
is expected that
this
number will climb up steeply to reach more than 25 % in the
year
2040.
Lastly
but not the least
,
Accept space
,
in Sweden the senior citizen above 65 was about 6% of the
population
in 1940.
t
his
Suggestion
This
percentage
is increasing g
radully
in a gradual manner
gradually
with i
ntermittent peroid
Suggestion
intermittent periods
intermittent period
an intermittent period
the intermittent period
of slow down
,
Accept space
,
h
owever it
Accept comma addition
however, it
is expected that
this
percentage
will reach about one f
orth
in the fourth place
fourth
of the general
population
in 2040.
Submitted by oazijam on

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