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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree

#countries #rate #crime #people #police #streets
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Increase in
crime
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 is one of the major
issue
Suggestion
issues
 facing almost all the countries. Development and rapid growth of population is causing
this
Linking Words
 increment. Eradicating through legal procedures can not only reduce
this
Linking Words
rate
Use synonyms
. Peoples' attitude and discipline
also
Linking Words
 affect to
commiting
perform an act, usually with a negative connotation
committing
 crimes. Governments have to spend
considerable amount
Suggestion
a considerable amount
 of funds to
angage
carry out or participate in an activity; be involved in
engage
 more
police
Use synonyms
 officers in public places.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 it will create
uneasyness
feelings of anxiety that make you tense and irritable
uneasiness
 for
commutors
a passenger train that is ridden primarily by passengers who travel regularly from one place to another
commuters
 during their daily activities. Pedestrians will get used to walk among the
police
Use synonyms
 officers and in their absence, they will feel unsafe. Once people get used to a habit, it is quite difficult to get away with the same habit. They will need it forever and at the same time they will demand for it. Afterwards, people will
beleive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
 that they do not have to provide their own safety. We should find the route cause and take actions to avoid crimes
happenning
an event that happens
happening
.
Main reason
Suggestion
The main reason
 for crimes, nowadays is high living costs and people find ways and means of easy money.
That is
Linking Words
 why, many developed countries are
more safer
Suggestion
safer
 than
Third
Linking Words
 World countries.
Hence
Linking Words
, the rulers may think about uplifting people's living standards. There are advantages of having
police
Use synonyms
 officers on the streets,
such
Linking Words
 as, criminals will be reluctant to make their moves and in a
crime
Use synonyms
 the
police
Use synonyms
 has more chance of catching the person who did it. Usually,
police
Use synonyms
 officers
in
Suggestion
on
streets
Suggestion
the streets
 will be
equiped
provided or fitted out with what is necessary or useful or appropriate
equipped
 with weapons and it will make the criminals fear to do a
crime
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, engaging
police
Use synonyms
 officers will not reduce the
rate
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 of crimes by
considerable amount
Suggestion
a considerable amount
considerable amounts
. But, it will affect the
rate
Use synonyms
 in a smaller percentage. People shall be educated and provide
wil
the capability of conscious choice and decision and intention
will
while
well
 good living conditions, which will lead
to enahance
Suggestion
to enhancing
to enhance
to enhanced
to announce
 their attitudes. Neighbours have to build up their relationships and help
eachother
Suggestion
each other
. These relationships and brotherhoods will make a significant reduction in
crime
Use synonyms
 rates.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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