It is sometimes said that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree?

In the past few decades, there has been a significant change in the way people eat and work.

Such

lifestyle changes have decreased the levels of fitness amongst individuals of every generation. Seeing the scenario, it is believed that the fitness levels will comparatively be lesser in the future. I completely agree with the given ideology and the reasons for my opinion will be elucidated in the forthcoming paragraphs with

supportive

Suggestion

supporting

examples. The main reason behind

declining

Suggestion

the declining health

health

of the citizens is

sedentary lifestyle

Suggestion

a sedentary lifestyle

. As more and more people are taking sitting jobs which

involves

Suggestion

involve

no movement, it is directly impacting their

health

. Apart from

this

most of them commute to work places on personal cars, not putting any strain on the physique. A survey conducted by a human welfare organisation in 2019 revealed that professionals sitting for nine hours

everyday

Suggestion

every day

are fifty-five percent more prone to cardiac arrest in their

fourties

the time of life between 40 and 50

forties

as compared to those individuals whose work involves usage of physical exercise.

This

is a clear sign how the sitting jobs are adversely affecting our life and seeing the growing corporate world,

this

trend does not seem to go down. Another considerable factor behind the declining physical

health

of the

societal

Suggestion

society

is the eating habits. Since working people have long shifts, they tend to eat fast food regularly. Every day consuming food full of

unsatuared

not saturated; capable of dissolving more of a substance at a given temperature

unsaturated

fats not only makes people susceptible to diseases but

also

alter ones efficiency.

Moreover

, seeing fast food chains budding in every location is a clear indication of no end to

this

trend in the coming years. Burger King,

for example

, has opened around 1200 branches in South Asia in

last five years

Suggestion

the last five years

to meet the demands of the humankind. If

this

trend goes on, there will be

considerable drop

Suggestion

a considerable drop

in the healthiness of the generations. To conclude, sitting jobs and unhealthy eating patterns are the main reasons why the wellness of humans would decrease in the future. Only if

authorities

Suggestion

the authorities

and people put sincere efforts to improve

health

, there are some chances of fit generations.

Submitted by khush.rangi94 on Mon Mar 02 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is sometimes said that a high salary is the most important factor in choosing a job. Do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation

Some people think that building tall building is the best way to create more housing space, while other people believe it's better to build many houses on land. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many criminals commit further crime as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

In some countries it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight. Discuss both views and give your opinion.