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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the design for a wave-energy machine and its location. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #design #wave-energy #machine #location #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagrams
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the
blue print
Correct your spelling
blueprint
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 of wave-energy
mamchine
Correct your spelling
machine
 and its location.
This
Linking Words
machine
Use synonyms
 is used to generate
electicity
Correct your spelling
electricity
, the farther the installation from shore the higher its cost and output. Wave energy
machine
Use synonyms
 has two chambers one is submersed
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
water
Add an article
the water
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 and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 is exposed to the Atmosphere.Each chamber works in its own style.the chamber submersed in the water generates
electricity
Use synonyms
 by the
Use synonyms
air flow
Correct your spelling
airflow
show examples
 which comes from waves and rotates the turbine blades
thus
Linking Words
 producing
electricity
Use synonyms
.
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 the chamber exposed to
atmosphere
Correct article usage
the atmosphere
show examples
 has an inlet for
air
Use synonyms
 to flow into the
machine
Use synonyms
 which rotates the turbine blade and generates
electricity
Use synonyms
. Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chambers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 outlets through which the
air
Use synonyms
 escapes from the
machine
Use synonyms
. These machines are generally placed in
sea water
Correct your spelling
seawater
show examples
,two places are prefered to place these machines one is nearer to the shore and the other is deep into the ocean. the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 produces high output because of large waves hitting the
machine
Use synonyms
, and the former produces low output because of small waves.
Cost
Correct article usage
The cost
show examples
 of installation is directly
proportion
Replace the word
proportional
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 to the distance of
Use synonyms
machine
Correct article usage
the machine
show examples
 from the shore. All in all these machines are used to generate
electricity
Use synonyms
 using
air
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words machine, electricity, air with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "wave" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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