The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.
The bar chart compares post-school educational attainment among
men
and
women
in Australia in 1999. As a whole,
men
were ahead of
women
in terms of their highest educational qualifications in Australia, and three out of five types of post-school educational qualifications, namely - post-graduate
diploma
, skilled vocational
diploma
and masters degree, were mostly attended by
men
. In
details
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detail
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, those who had a post-graduate
diploma
and Master's degree were dominated by 70% and 60%
men
respectively. The ratio of
women
who had post-graduation
qualification
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qualifications
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was much lower. Another important aspect of the graph is that there was a remarkable number of
men
, 90%, who took up a 'skilled vocational
diploma
course' which left
women
to only just a tenth. Since
men
continued their education and achieved post-graduate qualifications, females with an undergraduate
diploma
much outweighed the ratio of males.
Finally
, the proportion of
male
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males
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whose highest education was a bachelor's degree was about 45%,
whereas
the
females'
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females
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ratio was somewhat more than that.
Submitted by epmunsrilanka on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, diploma with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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