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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, the older people who need employment have to compete with younger people. what problems does this cause and what are the solutions.

#people #employment
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Economy
Suggestion
The economy
 is
backborn
Suggestion
the backbone
backbone
a backbone
Blackburn
 for the country development. Nowadays, The economy is
formost
ranking above all others
foremost
 reason and
also
Linking Words
 a
needs
Suggestion
need
 to live for each and every person. Because, In the present scenario older people who need employment have to compete with younger people who has just
graduate
Suggestion
graduated
 from the universities. So, I suggest below some causes and solutions.
Firstly
Linking Words
, The old people compete with
younger generation
Suggestion
the younger generation
 to get a job
opportunities
Suggestion
opportunity
. From that the interviewer
select
Suggestion
selects
 them because of their higher work experience is far more than the young graduates.
Therefore
Linking Words
, The unemployment rates are increased with a
magnificient
characterized by grandeur
magnificent
 percentage.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Those Unemployees youth take steps to do crimes for
fullfil
put in effect
fulfil
fulfils
 their needs and dreams.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, The young generation
is get
Suggestion
is getting
has got
has gotten
gets
in depressed from
Suggestion
depressed from
 not having any jobs and they committed
sucides
the act of killing yourself
suicide
suicides
 too. Meanwhile, Most of them are going
for
Suggestion
to
 the outside country to find any jobs and these will create
loss
Suggestion
a loss
 for our economy and our country too. To Contrast, From happened
this
Linking Words
 causes the government should take some decisions for the profit in the
both
Use synonyms
 sides. They encourage people and give subsidies to open the plant or any business, From that our unemployment rate is decreased. Apart from
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 They make
strong pension related scheme
Suggestion
a strong pension related scheme
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, The senior citizen
do not worry
Suggestion
does not worry
 about their future and
this
Linking Words
 will get a chance for the young generation to being an employee in
this
Linking Words
 industry. Simultaneously, The old public mind is quite rigid and they do not connect with the latest technology as
the young
Suggestion
the younger
 public can do.
Linking Words
also
Suggestion
Also
, their efficiency is low
compare
Suggestion
compared
 to them.
and
Suggestion
And
this
Linking Words
 will not
bothered
Suggestion
bother
 by any industries.
Thus
Linking Words
, The government open some schemes and
this
Linking Words
will be give
Suggestion
will be given
 support to
Use synonyms
both of generations
Suggestion
both generations
 and for the win - win situation for
both
Use synonyms
 of them too. To conclude, I suggest that the government
play
Suggestion
plays
 a vital
roles
Suggestion
role
 for
both
Use synonyms
 the generations. I totally agree with my solutions.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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