IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #visit
Travelling is not new to humankind, modern humans started in Africa ten
thousands
Suggestion
thousand
 years ago and settled in different parts of the world. Early humans wandered for survival
reasons but
Accept comma addition
reasons, but
 modern ones travel to relax during their holidays. Now a
days
Suggestion
day
, a trend, where people are visiting places which have uninhabitable conditions. In
this
 essay I will list the pros and cons of the trend. One advantage is
sense
Suggestion
a sense
 of achievement. But going to places where
majority
Suggestion
the majority
a majority
 would not travel make them unique among their social circles.
This
 makes them
feels
Suggestion
feel
 special and proud.
Also
, they can
cheirsh
be fond of; be attached to
cherish
 those adventurous moments as they may not do it again in future. Another benefit is we can appreciate the modern comforts which we take it for granted.
Also
, these expeditions are helpful to replicate and study the conditions of other planets on which space research institutes trying to colonise. Even though there are several advantages, there are a few disadvantages as well. One clear disadvantage is the costs, since these places have little connection to civilised
world it
Accept comma addition
world, it
 is hard to access them
,
Accept space
,
so it involves a fair amount of spending. Since these places are very remote, medical supplies are very scarce. So it will be a
disastorous
(of events) having extremely unfortunate or dire consequences; bringing ruin
disastrous
 place to get sick. To summarise, even though travelling to remote places like
Sahara
Suggestion
the Sahara
 or
Anatarctica
an extremely cold continent at the south pole almost entirely below the Antarctic Circle; covered by an ice cap up to 13,000 feet deep
Antarctica
 involves a lot of money and need medical supervision it is worth for people who need a sense of achievement.
Also it
Accept comma addition
Also, it
 will be helpful to study conditions which are helpful for space
explortion
to travel for the purpose of discovery
exploration
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: